Subway Wars

There is a scary culture in New York when it comes to subways. They are magical metal monsters that have a way of transforming the nicest people into NFL linebackers.

In my usual morning commute, I grab the free Metro New York paper and head down the flight of stairs to the 2/3 train. This morning seemed to be unusually crowded which made me immediately think that my timing was way off this morning and instead of it being 8:15 it was somehow 8:30.

Checking the clock in the newsstand, I realized I was right on time, but something just didn't feel right about today's commute, the fact that there was an ominous police officer the size of Andre the Giant didn't help either. Once I entered the station, the 3 train came roaring into the station and immediately the stampede erupted. Out of nowhere, children, teens, people dressed in scrubs, and bums came bounding towards the door eagerly awaiting for the train to stop. Scared I clutched my purse and newspaper and waited for madness to begin.

Like a flood, people came spilling out of the doors while we were simultaneously jamming ourselves into the train. Everyone was looking for the coveted early morning seat! This is like finding the golden egg on the Easter egg hunt. There is a feeling of satisfaction to anyone who grabs this seat and can catch a quick nap before their departure to Workland.

Today, however, the seating options were terrible. There was the usual teenager that was asleep and taking up two seats, the mother with two children spanning four seats, the overweight man who spanned three seats and the rude Wall Street man who grabs the seat you are making a B-line for. The fun part is the random outbursts that occur because of these seating arrangements.

The Wall Streeters are always the ones shouting "move the middle of the train" while simultaneously bowling over the shorter people standing in the entrance of the door. I guess that in preparations for the work they have to do throughout the day. The "backpackers" are always standing in the most awkward position, but aren't aware of what their bags are doing because their i-pods are way too loud. Finally, the "strippers" are the women that wrap their bodies on the poll, forcing you to do a balancing act since there is no way you can reasonably hold the poll without inappropriately touching her.

Luckily, today I got a seat and was able to watch the drama unfold, while browsing through the morning gossip.

After settling down to work, I noticed that Rhonda had an unusual day on the subway too. She proclaimed, "Girl, I almost got arrested on the train for telling a man off!" Anyone who knows Rhonda knows she doesn't play that! Though she is a sweet as pie, she can be as nasty as a snake when necessary. She proceeded to tell me how he tried to jump her in the Metro Card line and then asked if she was gonna yell at him if he took her seat. She then expressed how she declined from making a comment about his wife.

I guess this is expected in the Subway Wars. Some days you win and some days you lose, but today, I won and got a front row seat for the best drama in NYC.