Yesterday, the dreaded Monday monster decided to rear it's head and it's victim was....you guessed it...yours truly. For some reason, despite my efforts to organize and predict future breakdowns to my nicely crafted system, my coworkers always manage to get ME in trouble.
The stories goes like this......since I graduated from NYU, it is presumed that I am a mini Einstein, thus, I can handle the tasks of 80 workers at once and within a 9-5 time frame. While I'd like to think NYU had nothing to do with the fact that I couple common sense with time management skills, I rarely correct people that attribute my work success to NYU because it cost so much to attend that school.
Yesterday, however, my intellect came into question for reasons beyond my control. In medicine, timing is everything.....if you are late for an appointment, you ruin the day; if the doctor is late, that ruins my day (as a receptionist dealing with disgruntle patients) and most of all, if someone messes up medical paperwork that ruins the entire offices day....why?....because the tyrannical Mr.Goldstein quickly turns into Mr. Hyde
In the midst of his rant....he proclaims that with all these college educated people working for him, why isn't his system for lab work working? Of course he doesn't think it is working because he doesn't know how the system he devised is actually running.
In my mind I am thinking----Well, Dr. Goldstein, it is working. Due to my NYU degree, I have learned to ask questions and investigate before drawing conclusions....after calling the lab to confirm what time the specimen in question was completed, it makes sense that no report was ready because it hasn't been run yet.----however, I verbalize the following:
"I don't know what happened, but I will talk with the MA who checked the labs and confirm with the lab what time the specimen was ready"
Dr. Goldstein replies, "yeah, well, that always seems to be the answer. With all this education around here why are things NOT WORKING."
Surprisingly, I didn't get upset, but rather began to ponder......Alyce, why are you working here? Is this what you doled out thousands of dollars at NYU to become? The worker bee for some crazy doctor?
NO......but yet, I am still here......devising a plan to take over NYC...with my three best friends.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Clash of the Coffee Cups
I am usually not a big coffee drinker and prefer to get energy by enjoying simple things in life, a nice walk in the park, an early morning workout or a high protein breakfast, but for some, coffee is the drug of choice to get them moving in the morning. In the work world, there seems to be some code where the coffee you buy is a reflection of your status in life.
Peculiarly enough, I have been studying this phenomenon for weeks and have concluded some things. For those Wall-Streeters, Starbucks seems to be king. Those little mocha-latte-venti-double shot-yadda-yaddas seem to be all the rage for commuters past Chambers Street in downtown Manhattan. The sleek design of these cups are easily recognizable and I guess this may be indicative of the investment banking types....branding is important so make your first impression the best. However, for us "workin' class folk" I have noticed that we tend to choose Dunkin' Donuts or corner store coffee varieties. Not that these are any less better, but they are less of a burden on our budgets.
The showdown often doesn't happen on the trains, but when we arrive at work each day....that's when the battle begins. Each morning when I arrive at work, I like to watch as each of my co-workers arrives yielding their sword (coffee cup) in hand. The corner store coffee crew comes in at two waves 8AM and 9AM with their 7-11 super milky coffees that reflect their lack of taste for coffee save it having a lot of milk and sugar. The mid-morning crew is the Starbucks crew with coffee that is semi-dark and finally comes the boss, who...you guessed it....drinks his coffee BLACK. And this isn't coffee that you would buy at Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts, this is gourmet coffee imported from some remote island that only him and one other person in all of Manhattan are privileged enough to drink at the moment.
As I sit back with my oatmeal and Greek yogurt, I wonder how this all started. How we are all sizing each other up based on our ability to buy coffee....a beverage that many of us don't like but feel it is part of the working code that we must all participate in. Can a man or woman be measured by the amount he/she decides to spend on coffee?
Well, luckily for me, I will finally be able to participate in this battle until the end of the month.....why, you ask?....Well, one of our patients who decided to give me a treat for allowing her to arrive 30 minutes late for her appointment decided to bless me with Dunkin' Donuts free iced coffee booklet good for the entire month of June. I wouldn't actually spend my own resources to be part of this battle.....I will leave that for another one that I am passionate about.......say maybe lunchbox brawls.....!
Peculiarly enough, I have been studying this phenomenon for weeks and have concluded some things. For those Wall-Streeters, Starbucks seems to be king. Those little mocha-latte-venti-double shot-yadda-yaddas seem to be all the rage for commuters past Chambers Street in downtown Manhattan. The sleek design of these cups are easily recognizable and I guess this may be indicative of the investment banking types....branding is important so make your first impression the best. However, for us "workin' class folk" I have noticed that we tend to choose Dunkin' Donuts or corner store coffee varieties. Not that these are any less better, but they are less of a burden on our budgets.
The showdown often doesn't happen on the trains, but when we arrive at work each day....that's when the battle begins. Each morning when I arrive at work, I like to watch as each of my co-workers arrives yielding their sword (coffee cup) in hand. The corner store coffee crew comes in at two waves 8AM and 9AM with their 7-11 super milky coffees that reflect their lack of taste for coffee save it having a lot of milk and sugar. The mid-morning crew is the Starbucks crew with coffee that is semi-dark and finally comes the boss, who...you guessed it....drinks his coffee BLACK. And this isn't coffee that you would buy at Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts, this is gourmet coffee imported from some remote island that only him and one other person in all of Manhattan are privileged enough to drink at the moment.
As I sit back with my oatmeal and Greek yogurt, I wonder how this all started. How we are all sizing each other up based on our ability to buy coffee....a beverage that many of us don't like but feel it is part of the working code that we must all participate in. Can a man or woman be measured by the amount he/she decides to spend on coffee?
Well, luckily for me, I will finally be able to participate in this battle until the end of the month.....why, you ask?....Well, one of our patients who decided to give me a treat for allowing her to arrive 30 minutes late for her appointment decided to bless me with Dunkin' Donuts free iced coffee booklet good for the entire month of June. I wouldn't actually spend my own resources to be part of this battle.....I will leave that for another one that I am passionate about.......say maybe lunchbox brawls.....!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
No Dogs Allowed
Its a weird phenomenon in New York that seems to have not made it to the South. This is partly because we have so much more space that we wouldn't think of doing this, but there still is no explanation to this peculiar practice. What I'm referring to is this idea that dogs---our family pets---are somehow equivalent to humans and are like children.
I first noticed this when walking on the streets of New York, I would see people with dogs in strollers meant for babies. Then I would inadvertently cross the path of a dog and be reprimanded by an angry owner as if I had sideswiped their first born child. The ultimate crazy act is the notion that these dogs are welcome in restaurants and stores as if they possess the same purchasing power as their owners. No longer are they confined to their real environment, that being nature, but are a member of the human society club and have first class memberships in all buildings that their owners have access to.
The worst seems to be when dogs are brought into the doctor's office. I mean, not only is this a health violation, it is rude. Why, ma'am are you bringing your teacup Yorkie in this family practice office? I definitely didn't see lil' Coco's name on the schedule for today. And furthermore, with all the allergies that these little kids have these days, we are liable to be sued because you decided that Coco just had to come with you to your doctor's appointment today.
The conversations between these "mothers" usually goes as follows:
Hi, I'm here for my 2:00 with Dr. ____
Okay, I've checked you in, but your dog will need to remain outside until after your appointment
Oh, no, that's okay, Coco is hypoallergenic
before I answer this question, I like to gather myself...I feel like my NYU degree has purpose and like to take in the moment as long as possible
Ma'am, hypoallergenic simply means less of an allergen. There is no dog that is devoid of causing a person allergies so long as it has hair, skin, saliva and is breathing. Therefore, the fact that your dog has already entered the office means that if someone with severe allergies were to enter the office, they may be at risk of dying.
After this speech.....I wait....I let the weight of the information set in and relish in the reaction
Perplexed, but with a crooked smile, she places CoCo outside and takes her seat until her name is called.
Whenever I get the chance to explain this harsh reality to patients, I feel sad. It's like a mother realizing her child is the bully at the sandbox that no one wants to play with. It reminds them that their dog is a dog and is not their "BFF". He is a companion, but not a child.
Only in the office do I have my little victories over these Dog Moms. Outside of my 9-5 palace, I am but a subject to the Dog Moms of New York......but in the office, I'm the Queen....and what the Queen says....GOES.
I first noticed this when walking on the streets of New York, I would see people with dogs in strollers meant for babies. Then I would inadvertently cross the path of a dog and be reprimanded by an angry owner as if I had sideswiped their first born child. The ultimate crazy act is the notion that these dogs are welcome in restaurants and stores as if they possess the same purchasing power as their owners. No longer are they confined to their real environment, that being nature, but are a member of the human society club and have first class memberships in all buildings that their owners have access to.
The worst seems to be when dogs are brought into the doctor's office. I mean, not only is this a health violation, it is rude. Why, ma'am are you bringing your teacup Yorkie in this family practice office? I definitely didn't see lil' Coco's name on the schedule for today. And furthermore, with all the allergies that these little kids have these days, we are liable to be sued because you decided that Coco just had to come with you to your doctor's appointment today.
The conversations between these "mothers" usually goes as follows:
Hi, I'm here for my 2:00 with Dr. ____
Okay, I've checked you in, but your dog will need to remain outside until after your appointment
Oh, no, that's okay, Coco is hypoallergenic
before I answer this question, I like to gather myself...I feel like my NYU degree has purpose and like to take in the moment as long as possible
Ma'am, hypoallergenic simply means less of an allergen. There is no dog that is devoid of causing a person allergies so long as it has hair, skin, saliva and is breathing. Therefore, the fact that your dog has already entered the office means that if someone with severe allergies were to enter the office, they may be at risk of dying.
After this speech.....I wait....I let the weight of the information set in and relish in the reaction
Perplexed, but with a crooked smile, she places CoCo outside and takes her seat until her name is called.
Whenever I get the chance to explain this harsh reality to patients, I feel sad. It's like a mother realizing her child is the bully at the sandbox that no one wants to play with. It reminds them that their dog is a dog and is not their "BFF". He is a companion, but not a child.
Only in the office do I have my little victories over these Dog Moms. Outside of my 9-5 palace, I am but a subject to the Dog Moms of New York......but in the office, I'm the Queen....and what the Queen says....GOES.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
911 or Leave a Message, That is the Question!
It's a funny thing to work as a receptionist in a Family Practice office. The funny thing is, you are often confused with having some innate medical knowledge by virtue of picking up the phone. It's as if the new thing for patients to do is to rely on the critical thinking skills of an anonymous phone person than their own common sense.
New parents are the funniest. They will often place you in the driver's seat of the "Decision Making" tour bus and rely on your every twist and turn to arrive safely at "We Avoided This Crisis" Hotel.
Today's conversation ran as such:
Parent: "my child seems to be blue and is having difficulty breathing, what do you think I should do?"
Me: "call 911 or go the emergency room, ma'am. Not breathing is a medical emergency"
Parent: "...wellllll.....are you sure? I mean, would it be better if I just came down to the office? I mean I'm not sure if he is really NOT breathing or if he is even blue for that matter..........."
Immediately my mind begins to race and the real me wants to say:
"Listen Lady, I don't have any kids and the first thing you are taught in school is that if someone isn't breathing you call 911.....I mean....the only real number you are REQUIRED to remember in order to graduate kindergarten IS 911....did your Mom brain kick that precious three digit number out to make room for napping and feeding times?"
However, the professional me replied:
"Ma'am please do not wait, go straight to the ER NOW! One of our doctors will call to follow up with you in the morning."
I wonder sometimes, if technology has crippled society! I mean...the creation of these medical records was phenomenal and saves a heck of a lot of time....but what about all these other things that don't allow you brain to think anymore? Like all these applications that do everything short of breathing for you? Have we forgotten the simple lessons from our youth? Or has this crazy thing called adulthood blinded us to the harsh reality that things aren't really as complicated as they seem and everything that we think is "childish" is really logical and life saving?
Well, I'm just a receptionist trying to find my place in the world, but I hope, if needed, I will know when to call 911 or leave a message for my doctor!
New parents are the funniest. They will often place you in the driver's seat of the "Decision Making" tour bus and rely on your every twist and turn to arrive safely at "We Avoided This Crisis" Hotel.
Today's conversation ran as such:
Parent: "my child seems to be blue and is having difficulty breathing, what do you think I should do?"
Me: "call 911 or go the emergency room, ma'am. Not breathing is a medical emergency"
Parent: "...wellllll.....are you sure? I mean, would it be better if I just came down to the office? I mean I'm not sure if he is really NOT breathing or if he is even blue for that matter..........."
Immediately my mind begins to race and the real me wants to say:
"Listen Lady, I don't have any kids and the first thing you are taught in school is that if someone isn't breathing you call 911.....I mean....the only real number you are REQUIRED to remember in order to graduate kindergarten IS 911....did your Mom brain kick that precious three digit number out to make room for napping and feeding times?"
However, the professional me replied:
"Ma'am please do not wait, go straight to the ER NOW! One of our doctors will call to follow up with you in the morning."
I wonder sometimes, if technology has crippled society! I mean...the creation of these medical records was phenomenal and saves a heck of a lot of time....but what about all these other things that don't allow you brain to think anymore? Like all these applications that do everything short of breathing for you? Have we forgotten the simple lessons from our youth? Or has this crazy thing called adulthood blinded us to the harsh reality that things aren't really as complicated as they seem and everything that we think is "childish" is really logical and life saving?
Well, I'm just a receptionist trying to find my place in the world, but I hope, if needed, I will know when to call 911 or leave a message for my doctor!
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