No Dogs Allowed

Its a weird phenomenon in New York that seems to have not made it to the South. This is partly because we have so much more space that we wouldn't think of doing this, but there still is no explanation to this peculiar practice. What I'm referring to is this idea that dogs---our family pets---are somehow equivalent to humans and are like children.

I first noticed this when walking on the streets of New York, I would see people with dogs in strollers meant for babies. Then I would inadvertently cross the path of a dog and be reprimanded by an angry owner as if I had sideswiped their first born child. The ultimate crazy act is the notion that these dogs are welcome in restaurants and stores as if they possess the same purchasing power as their owners. No longer are they confined to their real environment, that being nature, but are a member of the human society club and have first class memberships in all buildings that their owners have access to.

The worst seems to be when dogs are brought into the doctor's office. I mean, not only is this a health violation, it is rude. Why, ma'am are you bringing your teacup Yorkie in this family practice office? I definitely didn't see lil' Coco's name on the schedule for today. And furthermore, with all the allergies that these little kids have these days, we are liable to be sued because you decided that Coco just had to come with you to your doctor's appointment today.

The conversations between these "mothers" usually goes as follows:

Hi, I'm here for my 2:00 with Dr. ____

Okay, I've checked you in, but your dog will need to remain outside until after your appointment

Oh, no, that's okay, Coco is hypoallergenic

before I answer this question, I like to gather myself...I feel like my NYU degree has purpose and like to take in the moment as long as possible

Ma'am, hypoallergenic simply means less of an allergen. There is no dog that is devoid of causing a person allergies so long as it has hair, skin, saliva and is breathing. Therefore, the fact that your dog has already entered the office means that if someone with severe allergies were to enter the office, they may be at risk of dying.

After this speech.....I wait....I let the weight of the information set in and relish in the reaction

Perplexed, but with a crooked smile, she places CoCo outside and takes her seat until her name is called.

Whenever I get the chance to explain this harsh reality to patients, I feel sad. It's like a mother realizing her child is the bully at the sandbox that no one wants to play with. It reminds them that their dog is a dog and is not their "BFF". He is a companion, but not a child.

Only in the office do I have my little victories over these Dog Moms. Outside of my 9-5 palace, I am but a subject to the Dog Moms of New York......but in the office, I'm the Queen....and what the Queen says....GOES.